Westboro Baptist Church Wanting To Hire Cannibal Corpse As House Band

Topeka, KS – Earlier this month, the Westboro Baptist Church had sent a proposal to the band Cannibal Corpse, in an attempt to hire them as the new church house band. We met up with one member of the church to find out. We spoke with Johnathon Gaiferpay, and he had this to say “You know, we here at Westboro love ourselves some brutal heavy metal. It gets us worked up to protests all these fags ruining our country. I for one can’t think of a better way to get motivated.” When asked about any other beliefs, Gaiferpay had this to say “In my day to day life I do what I can to prevent any gay acts, it’s wrong and unacceptable, I even refuse to wipe my own ass in fear it might turn me queer.”

Cannibal corpse

George Fisher, front man of Cannibal Corpse later came out with a statement saying; “While we are appreciative that the Westboro Church would like to hire us, We will never accept anything from such a brutally fucked up homophobic, racist, hate group. Our songs may be brutal and grotesque but we will never be as fucked up as Westboro Baptist Church.” The church has refused to speak with us since the statement was released.