Study Confirms Zero Correlation Between Diesel Trucks and Dick Size

Edmonton, AB – A recent study conducted by the University of Alberta confirms that driving a diesel does not in fact make your penis grow in size. Popular rumors seemingly convinced many citizens that purchasing, modifying and carelessly driving these trucks will have a positive growth effect on the male genitalia, however, that is not the case.

“What in tarnation!” Exclaimed one Alberta citizen when confronted with the results, who asked to remain anonymous due to fears people will realize he possesses a tiny reproduction organ. “Them teachin’ people at ya’lls fancy schools don’t know what they be talkin’ bout” argued another. In a whirlwind of negative and contradictory statements, it seems this study has really hit home.

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