Government Shut Down Causes Mass Suicides Across The Nation

Washington, D.C. – Mass suicides are happening all over the nation since hearing of the government shut down that started January 19th. Teens and young adults from all over are meeting up and killing themselves in protest to the shutdown. Our local correspondent Joe Kilurselph spoke with a group of protesters earlier who have gone on record to state the following “We will not go down without a fight!, We will not stop until there is justice!, We will not give up until all the government owned Chuck E Cheese are open again!”

ChuckECheese closer

Early Saturday morning President Trump announced, that while he has no idea on what he is doing with the government shutdown, he has assured us that Chuck E Cheese will remain closed for the time being. Shortly after Trump’s announcement thousands more have committed suicide in fear of never being able to go to a Chuck E Cheese ever again.